So it seems this here blog needs to be a little revitalised.

For too too long, this little place has been dark and scary and not even the good kind of either of those things. It's been sad and miserable, and without hope.

Seeing as this little blog is basically an exploration of the facets of my mind, from now on, I'm going to step up, MENTALLY.
There is a hidden secret amongst all of my complaints: I really do love life.

the problem is at times I get a little busy, a little hysterical and let it all wash over me. But that's just when I get weak or grow uninspired or amn't busy enough to forget the small stuff.

So I have some questions:
What if... nuclear bombs or an advancement in the technological development of arms were/was never made?
What if (and I would totally incorporate this in chapter 1, if I could rewrite the history of time) there was a bandit, a bit like Robin Hood, who secretly sabotaged every scientific centre for the development of arms and weaponry.
Instead I think the world would be totally different, I think thaaaat if governments focused less on big killing machines they could train (and use talent not technology) soldiers well enough to protect nat. security. But that is uninteresting.

What I'm saying is if they did that then perhaps the problems of today's society wouldn't exist?
Did you know, 1/3 of the US government's military budget could cure world poverty?
That's insane. It just makes it all seem so silly. Why, as humans do we feel so insecure that daily, instead of helping people, we 'protect' ourselves from them?

So I'm about to say something a bit corny here:
If everyone just showed everyone a bit of un-prejudicial love, 'loved thy neighbour', we would have half the problems of today.

Cruelty breeds cruelty and love breeds happiness and peaceful co-existence. I read this poem about the Kent university incident, written by a Russian: it says something about they didn't have weapons so they put flowers in the barrels of the guns and I've thought about this peace thing ever since, the point he was making, even though they showed dissent peacefully they were shot at- and for what reason? For what reason do we need to behave that way? The world is a funny place.
Humans suck sometimes, they really do.
We are made so intelligent that we have these gigantic fears that prevent us from doing so much!

Another what if..
What if the human body could survive on two hours of sleep a night.
That would be pretty awesome! imagine that in a year you would only waste about 670 hours, I would love that.

What if: there was a central thing for every country, kinda like a portal but less space age.

More like a giant corridor where behind each door lies hidden worlds or just the things you want to access. I think the internet's like that with google a bit, you can access almost anything, wouldn't it be lovely if that could materialise! Access to anything you ever wanted. Overseas travel, clothes from stores you always dreamed of, 100 year old books, old cottage houses that famous people lived in, movies you haven't seen in a long time- that bring back memories of a simpler time, different societies from history, I would love that.

I suppose it all comes down to my fantasy of time travel, but I don't think I reaaally fantasise about it. I just like the idea of being able to access anything you like but my issue with TT is that you could stuff up the whole future and everything happens for a reason so i wouldn't want to meddle with that.

I guess I am disappointed in myself about assessment this term. I wanted to be better and I was for a while but then I over did it.
It's such a delicate balance and I guess that's what this shut down has taught me: Work hard but be organised, don't get everything get done berfore hand, just the first paragraph or the first half or even just the first step. Don't let people determine your time planning, explain things- I'm referring to group work here- because twice in the past week my plans have been totally screwed over thanks to my passive approach of trying to not be rude or offensive and trying to be understanding; sometimes they need to try to understand me, I think. I need to get my head straight: not panic, and write a plan or brainstorm ideas in an intricate way. and Draft and Draft and Draft.

Anyways I think that's all the thoughts on my cold-tablet drugged-up mind.
Lots of love and I hope this is a bit happier than the last, Gwen.